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Thursday, March 7th, 2002
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Paula sent me some froggy stickers and a color-in Crayola card....shaweeet! =) Thanks so much, hun *smile*
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Comments: 1 huggle - show me love.
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I came across this great page which predicts your future Love and Sex life.
It is extremely accurate as long as you have
answered the set of 15 questions honestly and seriously. This award winning website was developed by a group of renowned psychologists. Even if you're still skeptical, just go ahead and try it for yourself, after all, you have nothing to lose!
Hint: You won't regret this!
Click on the link below, and remember, be honest!
http://www.crush007.com/love.pl?id=1015480464hfm
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Comments: 7 huggles - show me love.
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Wednesday, March 6th, 2002
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| Time: | 1:47 pm. |
| Mood: |  chipper. |
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I was iming some people just at random and said "Hey (name) I just wanted to let you know that I love you, and I hope that this makes you smile!"
Heres what they had to say!:
Rob: "Yeah it did! Thanx I needed that!"
Melli: "Ahhh I love you too! Thanks!"
Jan: "I love you more than you love me! Thanx for makin' me smile"
Jeremy: " =0) "
Daniel: " Wow. it did look at me --> :-D "
Jay: "Aww You're so sweet"
Callie: "Back at you babe"
I'm glad it worked I mean it feels so good to be loved. Even if it's not always boyfriend/ girlfriend lovin'! Just knowin' that somebody cares about you is amazing! You never know how much somebody needs to hear it sometimes! That's gonna be my new goal... To try and make people smile more! Because that may just be what they need at that moment.
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Comments: 5 huggles - show me love.
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| Time: | 7:08 pm. |
| Mood: |  anxious. |
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blah.My dreams have been bothering me recently. My dreams have all been about relationships. One was about some guy, whose identity I cannot remember, who I couldn't stand for some reason. Still, we ended up sharing a very romantic moment, while listening to a song which I'm not that fond of either. My other dream dealt with someone else telling me all the reasons they wanted nothing to do with me romantically. After I woke up, and thought about all that was said, I realized that every argument used was completely wrong. Weird, huh?
I feel better now. Thanks both to writing this damn thing and a recent conversation with a friend. The way I switch back and forth, I must be bipolar, maybe manic-depressive. Cool. Well, I felt better for a little bit, at least. I hate my life. At least sometimes I do. Other times I'm happy and everything's okay. That's just the way I am, I guess.
I need another page, where everyone doesn't know the address. Here, I can't even say all the things I want to cuz certain people might read it. I guess I really haven't changed...
"Even smiling makes my face ache." Dr. Frank N. Furter- Rocky Horror Picture Show
I feel better now. I don't feel good by any sense of the word, but I don't feel bad either. I feel kind of numb, with just a hint of a smile somewhere inside. Color is such a interesting thing. White is considered good, or sterile. White objects repel light. Black objects absorb light, make the light part of them. White objects refuse light. And yet, white is considered good while black is considered bad. Weird, huh?
I love music. It can make or break my moods. After a session of acting like a monkey (quite literally, I assure you) followed by some fun music, I'm feeling pretty good. At one point, I was even feeling kinda manic.
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Comments: show me love.
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| Time: | 3:48 pm. |
| Mood: |  bouncy. |
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One of these weekends, I really wanna get out to sixflags great adventure. I think the 2002 season starts at the end of this month or something like that. So who wants to come with me? I suddenly have this craving to get on a rollercoaster, that MUST be fulfilled. ;)
I love roller coasters! Have I mentioned to you that I love speed and things that scare me? Well, a roller coaster... especially a scary one where you feel your life may be in danger... fits this bill pretty well. I don't understand people who don't like roller coasters, honestly. How can you not LOVE that feeling of climbing higher and higher in a train/cart thing while the pully is click-click-clicking you closer to the top of an incredible hill? It's sooo exciting! I get goosebumps just thinking about it.
Do you like the front or the back of the train? Sometimes I like the front because I love the way you dangle over a hill, hanging there until the end of the train comes over and forces you down. It's kind of spooky, you know? You keep thinking: 'when is the end of the train ever going to get over the hump? uh oh, maybe the end of the train isn't coming... or even worse, maybe we're stuck'... then on that last thought, you're pushed forcefully down the hill and your head slams back against the headrest.
But mostly I like the back car. You get the most of all the hills and get thrown wildly around. You know, bruised, banged and rattled. It makes you think, 'I'm fairly sure my brain just fell out of my ear on that turn... man, I hope I can find it later, I'll probably need it someday'. The back car also gives you the most lift as you plunge down hills. I swear I lift nearly 2 feet out of my seat when I come down the really big hills. The only thing holding you in is that puny little seat belt. Cool.
And what about loops? Man, when I go through loops, my mind goes completely numb. It's kinda like an out-of-body experience. You know: 'Is this really happening to me? Am I really sitting in a metal go-cart doing vertical loops at break-neck speed? No, surely this can't be.' It's then I remember to breathe, and I see little silver stars twinkling around my head. Whoa! Have you ever tried to move your head from side to side while doing an upside-down loop? One word for you...
MISTAKE !!!
Back to drops... the bigger, the better. I'm obsessed with falling. I went on this incredible ride called the Freefall once... You go in this elevator-looking- thing (with an open front) and you go up and up and up... I have no idea, at least 8 or so stories, then you perch there for two teasing seconds, then you fall... fall straight down, nothing hindering your way. At the last second, when you think you're for sure going to be nothing but a red smudge on the pavement below, the cart makes a sharp curve into a 90 degree angle and you live. NOW THAT'S MY KIND OF RIDE! So good in fact, that I had to get right back in line for more terror. You know, it seems to me that they should call this ride the "Broken Elevator" or something. For effect, they could put some buttons saying "lobby", "first floor", "eighth floor", etc on it, and have a binging noise occur for each floor you pass as you rise. Then, when you get to the top, they should create the sound of a breaking cable, then let you drop. Now that would really be an attraction. People would love it!
There's one more thing I'd like to mention before I leave and that is: "I don't do backwards". No that isn't an obscene comment, it means that I refuse to go on any roller coaster or ride that goes backwards. No way. Talk about BARF city. Do people really think backwards roller coasters are fun? I think they hate them as much as I do, but are too cool to admit it. I think everyone that goes on those rides are pressured by someone else who was pressured to go on it at one time or another. It's like anyone who's been through the torture of going backwards has to make someone else share their agony, even if it means they, themselves, have to go through it again. See? It's just this chain reaction that keeps going and going. It's ruthless. I refuse to be a part of it. No one will ever challenge me to a backwards roller coaster. I'll sit, stand, I'll corkscrew, I'll loop and reverse-loop, I'll descend any hill, fall from any height, and wait in a two-hour line to do so... but I will NOT go backwards. Thankyou. =P
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Comments: 7 huggles - show me love.
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what's the deal with all these people writing "meeh" instead of "me"?
I find this extremely irksome... =P
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Comments: 14 huggles - show me love.
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Evan means the world to me. He's all I have. He cares for me beyond any type of affection I've had before. A lot is happening, and i blame myself, my *issues*, my insecurity and my fear of losing him. Me being self- conscious, jealous, lonely, angry, in love, has gotten me in so---o--- much trouble and now I'm scared I'm slowly ruining everything. I thought about it all night. Hardly any sleep but I was trying to think of something to get us closer again. I wish I could fix everything, or that I could go back and start over =(
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Comments: show me love.
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Saturday, March 2nd, 2002
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| Time: | 11:25 pm. |
| Mood: |  exhausted. |
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I just got back from a really really good show but I am tired so I am now going to cuddle up with my boi and sleep with happy thoughts. =)
Yeah, it was great. The bands were awesome. Supposedly my friends were there but I couldn't find them in the crowd... shit, I am getting too lethargic to type..... >.<
Everything will remain the way I left it.
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Comments: show me love.
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| Time: | 12:06 am. |
| Mood: |  excited. |
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Color me tickled pink =)
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Comments: show me love.
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| Time: | 4:46 pm. |
| Mood: |  thoughtful. |
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Today, an ex I WANTED to talk to actually called, and we met for coffee and had a very "therapeutic" conversation...it was good for both of us I think. (Unless he was bullshitting me..but from what I know of him with the shit hes been through, Im gonna believe what he's saying now.) it was very easy to just sit there and just talk about every subject under the sun without fear of judgment. Rest assured, what we spoke of was private, which is why we spoke alone.
Even his girlfriend was being very cool about things when she showed up a few hours later. I was impressed with her tact in letting us talk. If she's reading this, I thank her.
Don't get me wrong, I'm still angry at the world, but now I know that shit happens to other people too...
until next time....
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Comments: 1 huggle - show me love.
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So...my 21st birthday is fast approaching. (April 5th if ya didn't know)
Hey! meg is wishing for a thing or two.
Click here to find out what she wants:
Girlfriends LA wishlist
Delias wishlist
I don't really expect anyone to buy me anything, unless you're feeling especially generous or whatever, but making these lists was fun, anyway
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Comments: 2 huggles - show me love.
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Thursday, February 28th, 2002
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The next person who pokes fun at my poor little scabby nose is gonna get a knuckle sandwich, f'reals =P
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Comments: 3 huggles - show me love.
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Wednesday, February 27th, 2002
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So, wanna here what just happened to me? It's pretty gross. You may want to leave before you read this. I'm not kidding. Really, it's pretty sick. Any little children reading this should run away now. Anyone who is pregnant or who recently had ear surgery should leave now. Anyone who is of the faint of heart or who has a pacemaker should turn the other way. This is your last chance.
Is anyone still there?
....hmmmmmm..... well, anyway, here's the story. I'm taking an afterschool snack. Some delicious raisins! A healthy, filling, wonderful snack, right? Uhhhhh... So I open my little raisin box and begin chowing away. At times I thought the raisins tasted a little sour. Oh well, I'm just too hungry to care, right? So I'm now down towards the end of the box. I just had this really funny tasting raisin so I look down at the nearly empty box. And what do I see?
Yes, you've guessed it.....
...A bug leisurely crawling around my raisins! I threw the box down in fear of noticing 20 other of its friends hanging out, too. My first thought was of throwing up. But you don't understand (or maybe you do) what an unappealing thought that is to me, so I pushed the urge away. All I could do is sit there with my hand covering my mouth in complete shock! A minute later I yelled: "I ATE BUGS! AM I GOING TO DIE?!" The general consensus was no, but only because they weren't colorful bugs.
After washing my mouth out and drinking 3 cups of water, I wrote this email to Evan:
Subject: UGH!
Oh mi goodness!
I just ate a couple of bugs!
:-P
Oh, I might DIE! They were in my raisin box and I did not notice them and they camouflaged right in and I ate them! I KNEW my raisins tasted funny! UGH! I looked down in the box and there is this bug crawling around...
I'm... feeling.... light.... headed....
luke at alle thee prettee colers zooming ayrownd I musst catch.........
OK, well, so I didn't really have hallucinations, but I coincidentally got pretty sick. Any relation? YOU figure it out. Any doctors in the house?
Just let me give you this little piece of advice. Never EVER EVER eat raisins without looking first in the box... closely. That's it. Goodbye for now.
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Comments: 14 huggles - show me love.
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Monday, February 25th, 2002
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| Time: | 6:23 pm. |
| Mood: |  weird. |
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I still have the flowers Evan gave me on Valentine's Day, all wilted but still beautiful...at least I think they are =). Mom keeps saying I should throw them out cause they're dead. The thing is, there's still a few that are jubilantly alive! How can I throw away a flower arrangement when 3 of the flowers are still alive? I can't do it! Every night, I faithfully water them... AHHH!
That just reminded me of a dream I had last night about repotting plants! I was about to repot a plant of mine, and I pulled it out of its old pot and set it down for a second in another small pot while I went to the store to buy some soil and a larger pot. By the time I got back, there were roots everywhere around the small pot I set my plant in. It was like hugging the pot and didn't want me to repot it again. I thought it was weird, but as long as my plant was happy, I didn't really care. So I gave him (my plant is a male) some more soil and let him stay in the small pot.
I'm going to look this dream up in my dream analysis book when I get a chance.
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Comments: 8 huggles - show me love.
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| Time: | 3:47 pm. |
| Mood: |  relaxed. |
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Ahh . . . I have decided that I am not going to do anything school related tonight. I want a break. I was going to get some homework done, but nah, changed my mind. I am going to watch a little un-educational TV, maybe watch a movie, and then I'm going to bed early to read my non-school book. I've been reading Phantom of the Opera for months now, but with all my assignments I haven't had a chance to pick it up lately . . . and it is a long long book. So there! And I'm going to be home alone - my family is going out somewhere so I get the whole house - peace and quiet . . . until I break out the CDs and unleash my magnificent singing skills!
Well I am going to go and start my night of nothingness early . . . see ya!
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Comments: 1 huggle - show me love.
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Friday, February 22nd, 2002
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what the hell??!! livejournal deleted all my userpics and now I can't upload a new one. This bites hardcore =P
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Comments: 2 huggles - show me love.
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| Time: | 5:09 pm. |
| Mood: | weird. |
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Man, I have a headache. First period today, Dr. Muzi hands out the Psych test that I already knew I was gonna fail. 90 questions, 80 minutes. Spent about 10 minutes on the first 4 questions alone, when every question i guessed didn't even match up to an answer choice (much less the right one LOL.) Felt like crying. Instead, I beat my head on my desk and made soft whimpering noises of pain. (Which, I found out later, annoyed poor Scott immensely. Great....now if he fails too, he's gonna blame it on me. haha.) I finished 55 questions. And the prof is all like "Don't worry about this, put this into perspective....can we say CURVE?" Only a 75 point curve could save me now...
*Sings* "Animal crackers in my soup: monkeys and rabbits loop the loop...." I know....that was totally random. Whatever.
I really want one of those hoodies with the little kitty ears attached to the hood...meowwwww >^..^<
Crap. I just poured a bunch of water all over myself.....WHY ME?!? My hands are sticky now, maybe it wasn't water. Great. I'm wearing my favorite frog PJ's too, I really don't wanna go change out of them. But my lap is cold! bye!
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Comments: show me love.
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| Time: | 4:19 pm. |
| Mood: |  loved. |
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,88888e
,a888b.9888888i
888888888888888
I LOVE MY EVAN!!
'8888888888888'
"S888888888"
"7888888Y
"e88j
"Y
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Comments: 3 huggles - show me love.
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Wednesday, February 20th, 2002
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I had another recurring dream last night. It affected me differently, though. I don't feel depressed like I did after waking up yesterday. Now I feel kind of thoughtful. anyway here it is:
I was dating one of my friends? boyfriends. I won't say which friend, seeing as I have quite a few friends with boyfriends, and if you think you've figured it out then I can say quite honestly that you are probably wrong. Anyway, I knew that this guy was my friend's boyfriend, but when I look at my dream, he wasn't acting like himself or did he really look like himself, save for some basic similarities. Anyways, the two of us went to bed. And no, we never had sex. (Yes, even in my dreams I seem to be a dork. Too bad, really.) Anyway, he was on the bed and I was on the floor doing something, when he rolled off the bed. I caught him and he asked me if I was trying to cop a feel. I wasn't and I told him so, saying "No, I! was just catching you." he accepted this, and we went to sleep.
When I woke up the next morning, I walked into the living room, only to realize I wasn't fully dressed. I jumped under a blanket, then went to my room to get dressed, though I didn't seem to mind if the guy followed me, even though I was trying to hide under a blanket just a moment earlier. At this point, the guy seemed completely unlike my friend's boyfriend, but I didn't notice. We talked. he told me I snore. I don't think I do, or at least no one ever told me I did. Then I woke up.
I'm started to get a bit worried about all the dreaming I've been doing recently. Generally, I don't dream very often. Once a week is a big rarity, yet I've had dreams three nights straight, all on the same general topic. It's very weird. Also, I've had what can best be called "snapshot premonitions" in the past, where I see a picture of something, only to have that scene pop up months or years later in my life. It has always been an experience that I've found rather intriguing. However, I haven't had one of these experiences in more that a year. I just worry that this is all building up to something rather unpleasant. It's not a usual experience for me, and that throws me off a bit.
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Comments: 1 huggle - show me love.
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evilliciousgirl's journal
happy.
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indescribable.